i really liked it, the only problem was they kept saying things like "I want us to make love" and "I want us to be lovers" all through the story

Good but not my thing man

have to start somewhere...
more plot twists...
some character development,
some background scenery
keep banging 'em rocks together.

LOL nothing i ever saw before made me laugh so hard ROFL Snake, are you sure you didn't mean it as a caricature? Fuck I had to laugh so hard I almost dropped from my chair to the Floor OMG this one is SO Badly drawn that it is almost good again... almost. really looks childish and everything. Learn how to draw proper hentai, Snake, then draw this one again... besides, the story is absolutely FLAT. There's nothing there that makes it good, it's just horrible. Only thing I can say is: it gave me a hell of a good laugh! ROFL OMG i can't stop laughing.... LOOOOOL how bad is that i really wonder why the webmaster don't deletes it....

wow 1/16 pages is good